Weird, Fragile, and Hackable: A Love Letter to the Human Condition

Here's a theory I've been circling lately: humans are far weirder, more fragile, and more easily hackable than we like to admit. And maybe that's not a bad thing.

Let's start with weirdness.

We all have it. The specific way you fold your socks. The "right" way to stack a dishwasher. The food you save for last on your plate. Your utterly irrational but unwavering belief that money can be spent on holidays but never on home appliances. The brand you're loyal to, the workout you swear by, the way you react when someone interrupts you mid-sentence. Micro-behaviours, quirks, and pet peeves. All deeply personal, wildly specific, and often completely inexplicable.

We're walking, talking bundles of eccentric logic, temperament, and emotional history. What triggers me might amuse you. What comforts you might baffle me. And this isn't pathology, it's just humanity. We all carry strange beliefs and routines that help us feel safe, in control, or just... ourselves.

And then, there's fragility.

The deeper you know someone, the more you know exactly where their psychological bruises are. The old grief that resurfaces every year on a birthday, the shame that clings to a childhood memory, the rage that rises in traffic when life feels unfair and immovable. These soft spots, the places we're tender from life's bumps and scrapes, aren't flaws. They're proof we've lived, loved, and lost. But they're also open to exploitation, whether from someone careless in a moment of their pain or someone intentionally harmful.

When you know your own "buttons," you can better protect them. Not hide or harden them, just manage them, soften their power, and notice when someone is pressing them. We're all carrying these fragile parts, no matter how polished we look on the outside.

Which brings me to parrots.

I've come to believe we're all just parrots in a mirror. Easily flattered, ever-curious, and craving affirmation. A "well done" lands deeper than we admit. "Thanks for making the bed" or "I'm proud of you for finishing that thing". These little gold stars? We eat them up. Even the most self-assured among us have an inner child quietly scanning the room for approval. And while ideally, we learn to validate ourselves, there's something beautifully human about how much we all still want to be seen, praised, and loved.

But - and this is important - that craving also makes us hackable. It's a lever that can be pulled. Think marketing. Think manipulation. Think toxic relationships. When someone knows what your gold stars look like, they can use them to shape you. It's not always malicious, but it's worth noticing. Our need to be loved is sweet. But it's also powerful. So handle it with care, in both yourself and others.

The bigger message?

We're not as in control as we pretend to be. We're hackable, fragile, finite creatures trying our best. One accident or diagnosis away from everything changing. We break bones and seek treatment without shame. But psychological wounding is no different. It's ordinary, survivable, and treatable. Shit happens. Pain happens. We need care (not judgment) for it.

So yes, take responsibility. Cultivate awareness. But also…lighten up.

You are not a rare bone china teacup to be locked away and only brought out on special occasions. You'll get triggered. You'll fold your socks weird. Your feathers will get ruffled often. But if you know yourself well enough, you can let life be a breeze that fluffs your feathers, not a storm that breaks your wings.

Because being weird, fragile, and hackable isn't a fault. It's just being human. And frankly, it's kind of wonderful.

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With credit to Alain de Botton's work, a valuable resource and influence on my thinking.

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• Website https://www.alaindebotton.com/

• YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@theschooloflifetv

• Any of his books